Sunday 30 June 2019

Brits Abroad





I’m Welsh first, British second. 

This has proved a valuable asset while travelling abroad, in more ways than one. Being bilingual helps in the assimilation of different languages, in my case, French and German.
As a student, cursing while hauling my oversized luggage across Germany, I was mistaken for a bad-tempered Bavarian. (Must have been the Welsh overtones.) I’ve had interesting conversations with Bretons, comparing words similar in both languages. Welsh came in handy in Egypt to baffle the irritating ‘want a taxi, ride in a horse-drawn cart?’ pests in Luxor. A cheery ‘shwd maen mynd?’ How’s it going? followed by a word-perfect recital of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and instruction to husband and sons not to utter a word of English soon saw them off.

Persistent time- share sellers in Spain tried their best to decipher my measured rendition of Welsh hymns. Finally, I was rumbled. ‘I know what you are’ yelled one wide- boy as he sped away on his scooter: -

 ‘You’re sheep……s!’

Luckily, both sons were too young to understand.



Monday 25 February 2019

TURNING TURTLES





Baby turtles, as they hatch, turn towards the moonlight gleaming over the sea.
Night- time hatching gives them a better chance of survival, their little flippers strengthening as they scuttle energetically up and onwards. Should a 1000-1, lucky blighter make it to adulthood he could happily splash away for another quarter of a millennium.

Ageing humans, on the other hand, tend to turn towards the sun. In the twilight of
their years a quick splash in the infinity pool followed by a belly flop on the sunbed, then prolonged horizontal bronzing before the 6 o’clock happy hour, is as much as some can muster.

Egg- laying turtles always go back to the beach they were born.

Mammalian humans of the subgenus tourists, may also loyally revisit the same location year after year.

Put both species in the confines of the same stretch of sand et voila! A conundrum and an ecological disconnect. Who has right of way?

Where am I going with this, you may wonder? 

Well, actually, I’ve just come back- from Muscat, Oman.
“Why Oman? The most boring f…ing place in the world!” exclaimed one well-travelled acquaintance.

Well, we’re older than him and fancied some rest and relaxation in the luxury Shangri- la resort. No under- sixteens allowed in our hotel; private pool and beach open solely to residents, and of course, the hawksbill (critically endangered) and the green (endangered) turtles.

Oman only discovered oil in 1964, then electricity was introduced by the reigning Sultan (ex-Cambridge). Peering out of our tour minibus I had a strange sense of déjà vu, something about those mountains, burnt orange, craggy, devoid of greenery, looming over the low- rise buildings …the Victorian street lights, reminiscent of Llandudno…

We covered up respectfully for the gleaming modern Grand Mosque, sniffed at the tuna in the fish market, politely declined the solicitous souk vendors and listened to the BBC intonation of the pre-recorded tourist commentary which gravely informed us:-


 “We approach the most expensive residential district and our famous street of love, where you can take a romantic stroll and admire the Lamborghinis and Porsches cruising up and down.”

My fit of giggling (baffling for the Japanese behind) gradually abated as the stentorian voice continued its pompous narration. Apparently, the organ pipes in the magnificent white Royal Opera House are gold- plated.

Fancy!

Back at the hotel, on the terrace “with sea views”, we stuffed our faces with three tiers of afternoon tea. I had a sudden moment of epiphany-

“Those mountains, they look like the slagheaps of Aberfan!” 


“Keep your voice down, for God’s sake, and yes, they do, a bit.” said my husband as he poured himself another cup of English Breakfast.

We visited the hotel’s Eco Centre, full of colour photos of happy hatching turtles and quite detailed information on the resort’s turtle care project and the animals themselves. Two slightly knackered- looking local rangers explained they patrolled the beach each evening and helped the turtles by marking and cordoning off the nests, even digging the eggs up and reburying them if they were laid too close to the sea. They also help the hatchlings and warn the residents not to make noise, touch or attempt to turn the turtles as they orient themselves towards the sea. Smoking cigarettes and torchlight are forbidden and please “be careful where you put your feet when there are hatchlings on the beach, as they are difficult to see and can easily be crushed.”

Somewhat relieved at the care these devoted staff were giving we went off to the happy hour to sink a couple stiff drinks. There comes a time where there is only so much gin one can take, ditto the guitar playing and Moroccan wailing in minor key. We sloped off for dinner.

“I can’t sleep, it’s not the gin, I feel guilty about being here and those turtles.”

“For Goodness sake, they’re looking after them, aren’t they?”

“Yes, but they built the hotel near the sand so there’s less beach for them to lay their eggs.”

“There are worse things happening to the rain forests in Brazil.Stop worrying.
 I’m booking you a massage in the morning. Now please go to sleep.”

 “You have a lot of tension in your shoulders,” opined the masseuse in the Occitane Spa.
“Well, yes, I’m worried about the turtles.”
That rather ended that conversation.

Oman was quiet, civilised, the people were nice, the weather warm, the hotel luxurious and offering blissful relaxation. 

And yet, and yet…

I would hate to think that the last hawksbill hatchling on earth might come to an unforeseen end under the sole of a well-heeled tourist.

So thank you Shangri- La for a lovely stay and Omanis for your wonderful hospitality.
But I don’t think I’ll be coming back.