Jane Austen meets Marquis de Sade

Last night we had to do an exercise. “Jane Austen meets Marquis de Sade.” We read the first part of Pride and Prejudice, had to substitute the arrival of Mr Bingley with the arrival of the Duc de Blangis, a character from Marquis de Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom, “built like a satyr, endowed with a monstrous member and prodigious strength.” Our lecturer reminded us of the tensions between France and England in the 18th century.
We then had 20 minutes to write the next chapter in Austen’s  book – Here is what I wrote.

“Lawks, a real French Duke in our midst!” exclaimed Mrs Bennett, fanning herself furiously as she sank back in her chair.

Mr Bennett raised a weary eyebrow “Yes, my dear but there is, how shall I say this, a delicate matter of entente cordiale.”

“Yes, yes, we must get all the cordials that we can muster. And cook, yes, cook must busy herself with the latest French recipes.”

“I do believe the French are fond of snails, my dear.” Mr Bennett teased his wife mercilessly.

“Snails, snails you say. Surely not! Ah well, if it must be, it must be, but I shall certainly not partake of those delicacies myself.”

“My dear, you are aware, are you not of the perilous political situation in France at the moment? Have you considered why the Duke de Blangis is gracing us with his presence?”

“Well, it’s obvious of course. He must be royalty, fleeing from those awful revolutionaries!”

“And if he were not?”

“Piffle, my dear, these things are not important. What is, is that the dear Duke at eighteen is a master of a colossal fortune. And our girls, thanks to our unfortunate family circumstances, are not. We must arrange French lessons for the girls as soon as possible and dress them in the latest French lace. They must dance in France; we need to know the steps! I shall find a suitable dancing teacher acquainted with French reels at once!"

“If I have heard correctly, the Duke de Blangis has other, quite particular tastes that I feel we might not meet. Indeed I do not think it would be at all circumspect or decent to ask further or pander to his whims in any way.”

“Pander! Of course we must pander! To get our girls married we must do whatever it takes!”